1
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,500
<i>Well now! Hi again, everybody!</i>

2
00:04:14,101 --> 00:04:15,101
<i>Time to play that great radio...</i>

3
00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:44,102
Hiya, boys and girls!

4
00:08:44,103 --> 00:08:45,303
How are you today?

5
00:08:45,304 --> 00:08:47,404
It's me. I'm Koko the Clown!

6
00:08:47,505 --> 00:08:49,905
And we're ready for a really
big show today! Right?

7
00:08:50,706 --> 00:08:52,506
And I hope you're feelin' real happy,

8
00:08:52,607 --> 00:08:55,907
and if you're not feelin' happy,
and you're feelin' a little bit blue...

9
00:08:56,008 --> 00:08:58,008
I have a song just for you!

10
00:08:58,109 --> 00:09:00,209
So, sing along with me, boys and girls!

11
00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:01,610
Let's go!

12
00:09:02,911 --> 00:09:06,911
♪ Sing a little melody,
and sing it every day ♪

13
00:09:07,312 --> 00:09:11,812
♪ A simple little melody,
that makes you feel okay ♪

14
00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:16,613
♪ Keep the blues away from you,
and sing a song or two ♪

15
00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:21,214
♪ Sing a little melody,
to keep from feelin' blue. ♪

16
00:09:38,015 --> 00:09:42,815
♪ A real good day! ♪
Ha-ha-ha!

17
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:43,916
Oh, boys and girls,

18
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,117
I hope you enjoyed singin' that song
as much as I did!

19
00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:51,318
And after a workout like that,
Koko feels real tired.

20
00:09:51,619 --> 00:09:55,019
Whew! And you know what I need
for quick energy, don't you boys and girls?

21
00:09:56,020 --> 00:09:58,820
That's right!
I need my milk!

22
00:10:01,721 --> 00:10:05,121
Oh, boys and girls,
if you're ever real tired

23
00:10:05,222 --> 00:10:06,622
and you need quick energy too,

24
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,423
you oughta drink all your milk too

25
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:14,224
'cause that's very important...
Boys and girls, do you hear something?

26
00:10:14,725 --> 00:10:15,725
[Indistinct Chattering]

27
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:23,026
Oooh! It's the magic monkey!

28
00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:25,227
Hiya, magic monkey!

29
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,728
Oh? You know what the
magic monkey says, boys and girls?

30
00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:32,929
It's make-believe time!

31
00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:35,230
That's right! And you
know what that means...

32
00:10:35,531 --> 00:10:38,831
All of the big people
in the room have to leave.

33
00:10:39,032 --> 00:10:41,232
That's right, they can't take
part in make-believe time...

34
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:42,933
only the little people!

35
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:47,034
So, if you're over 10 years old
we want you to leave the room

36
00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:49,635
so that the little people can
take part in make-believe time.

37
00:10:49,936 --> 00:10:52,136
Now, we're gonna play the music
for make-believe time

38
00:10:52,537 --> 00:10:54,637
and by the time that music is over

39
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:57,738
I only want the little people
in the room, all right?

40
00:10:58,039 --> 00:11:00,339
Okay. Play the music, Mr. Musicman.

41
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,840
There it is now!
Okay, are all the big people leaving the room?

42
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,141
Oh, there goes David's parents...
goodbye!

43
00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:09,742
Oh, there goes Marylou's parents...
okay, bye!

44
00:11:10,743 --> 00:11:12,543
Okay, that's the end of the music.

45
00:11:12,944 --> 00:11:15,744
Are all the little people here
for make-believe time?

46
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:18,645
All of the big people
are out of the room?

47
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:22,046
Okay...

48
00:11:34,147 --> 00:11:35,447
Okay.

49
00:11:37,548 --> 00:11:40,848
Now, I have a...
request here from...

50
00:11:41,249 --> 00:11:44,549
Vickie Ulanet, of...
Fort Wayne.

51
00:11:45,150 --> 00:11:49,850
She asks for page 47 of
Fannie Hill by John Cleland.

52
00:12:02,651 --> 00:12:07,851
"I laid down then upon the couch,
and Charles finished undressing himself,

53
00:12:08,552 --> 00:12:11,252
"...revealing to my eyes that column of delight

54
00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:15,853
"...whose impatient gestures signaled the
prelude to love's ecstatic union.

55
00:12:16,754 --> 00:12:20,754
"Urged on by consuming passion, we
were quickly joined in soft embrace,

56
00:12:21,355 --> 00:12:27,555
"...his hands exploring the fiery moist territory
whence derived my intoxicating pleasures.

57
00:12:30,556 --> 00:12:33,756
"Most readily I obeyed my love's
soft-spoken command

58
00:12:33,757 --> 00:12:38,457
"...to alter my recumbent position
that he might gain swift entrance.

59
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:42,558
"But how can I describe the overwhelming
bliss which swept through me

60
00:12:42,859 --> 00:12:47,159
"...as the delicious velvet tip
divided the gates of pleasure

61
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:51,860
"...and the ivory shaft insinuated itself
to it's furthest penetration,

62
00:12:52,361 --> 00:12:55,761
"...only to withdraw and plunge,
again and again.

63
00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:04,862
"Thoroughly inundated by the tides of pleasure which
flowed forth from these violent actions,

64
00:13:05,063 --> 00:13:08,363
"...I yielded up the last vestiges of resistance

65
00:13:08,564 --> 00:13:11,564
"...giving myself entirely to the rapturous rhythm

66
00:13:11,765 --> 00:13:14,865
"...which carried us all too quickly
over love's crest,

67
00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:18,866
"...and left us exhausted
and joyous upon the shore."

68
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,967
Well... that was an excellent request, Vickie,

69
00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:25,168
hope you enjoyed it.

70
00:13:26,569 --> 00:13:29,769
Now we have another request here,
from Kippy Pratt

71
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,270
of Springfield, and he asks for

72
00:13:32,471 --> 00:13:36,871
page 43 of Philosophy in the Bedroom,
by Marquis de Sade.

73
00:13:39,172 --> 00:13:42,272
Oh, uh... I see we're running
a little late, and I, uh...

74
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:45,673
I'll get to this tomorrow, but I do
wanna make a special announcement.

75
00:13:46,574 --> 00:13:50,974
Uh... uh, it seems a boy from Newton

76
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,675
let his parents stay in the room
during make-believe time,

77
00:13:53,776 --> 00:13:56,876
or at least it was his mother,
because she called the station,

78
00:13:57,377 --> 00:13:59,477
and it's a good thing the management
doesn't watch the show

79
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:01,178
'cause they thought it was a crank call.

80
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,079
But I'm only mentioning this to tell you that

81
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,780
really, it's very important that you make sure

82
00:14:06,881 --> 00:14:09,081
the big people leave the room
during make-believe time,

83
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,782
because, if you don't do that

84
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:14,083
the management will catch on to
what we're doing, and uh...

85
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:17,584
we'll have to go off the air and I won't
be able to take your requests and so on...

86
00:14:17,685 --> 00:14:19,685
so really, please, it's very important

87
00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:23,386
make sure the big people, uh, leave
the room during make-believe time, okay?

88
00:14:23,787 --> 00:14:27,187
Now, as I said, we'll get to this tomorrow
when we'll have more time,

89
00:14:27,188 --> 00:14:30,688
we'll get to the end of the show now,
you can call the big people back in the room.

90
00:14:30,889 --> 00:14:32,489
Jerry, you wanna hit the music?

91
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:45,390
Well, boys and girls!
It looks like that's the end of our show!

92
00:14:45,691 --> 00:14:48,791
Hope you enjoyed it, and
I'll see you again tomorrow!

93
00:14:48,892 --> 00:14:52,192
And don't forget, boys and girls,
to brush your teeth.

94
00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:53,893
That's very important!

95
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,294
Bye-bye, boys and girls!
Bye!

96
00:15:03,295 --> 00:15:04,695
Now, for the first time...

97
00:15:04,896 --> 00:15:06,696
toothpaste and mouthwash together,

98
00:15:06,897 --> 00:15:08,397
in Mouth Appeal.

99
00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:11,198
The first mouthwash-toothpaste
that also removes

100
00:15:11,299 --> 00:15:13,199
superficial tobacco and food stains,

101
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,800
to make your teeth look whiter,

102
00:15:14,801 --> 00:15:17,101
plus mouthwash for fresher breath.

103
00:15:17,502 --> 00:15:18,902
If you want to get closer,

104
00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:20,503
kissably closer,

105
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:21,904
get Mouth Appeal!

106
00:15:22,205 --> 00:15:24,805
The toothpaste that gets you closer!

107
00:15:32,706 --> 00:15:35,306
♪ Now Babs meets Roy at the beach one day ♪

108
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:37,807
♪ He thinks her swimsuit's a-ok ♪

109
00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:40,508
♪ Roy has matching clothes of his own ♪

110
00:15:40,609 --> 00:15:43,009
♪ And they kiss goodnight when he takes Babs home ♪

111
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,310
♪ Babs and Roy get wed in May ♪

112
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:47,811
♪ And they get their own home right away ♪

113
00:15:48,312 --> 00:15:50,412
♪ Babs gets a vacuum and a washing machine ♪

114
00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:52,813
♪ And dishes and clothes and a house to clean ♪

115
00:15:53,214 --> 00:15:55,314
♪ Roy's new secretary sparks romance ♪

116
00:15:55,415 --> 00:15:57,815
♪ In a see-through blouse and red hot pants ♪

117
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,016
♪ But Babs' irate about his date ♪

118
00:16:00,017 --> 00:16:02,317
♪ And they speedily, legally separate ♪

119
00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,918
♪ Babs' psychiatrist eventually evokes ♪

120
00:16:05,119 --> 00:16:06,319
♪ That her mother bought her fancy clothes ♪

121
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,620
♪ But never held her close ♪

122
00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:09,721
♪ Roy tells Jim that the marriage was a failure ♪

123
00:16:09,922 --> 00:16:12,522
♪ 'Cause neither he nor Babs has any genitalia! ♪

124
00:16:15,323 --> 00:16:18,023
♪ Now, Babs and Roy are made by B and B ♪

125
00:16:18,024 --> 00:16:20,624
♪ Accessories and dolls sold separately ♪

126
00:16:24,825 --> 00:16:28,025
Welcome to the
Kramp TV Kitchen.

127
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:31,326
Tonight we are featuring a
festive holiday dish,

128
00:16:31,627 --> 00:16:33,527
which is a traditional
favorite in Newark,

129
00:16:33,728 --> 00:16:36,428
and sure to delight your entire family,

130
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,729
Fourth of July Heritage Loaf.

131
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:44,130
Begin by coating the inside of a
large, shallow casserole dish

132
00:16:44,531 --> 00:16:47,731
with Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening,

133
00:16:47,932 --> 00:16:50,332
and place in your refrigerator to cool.

134
00:16:51,233 --> 00:16:53,433
While the first casserole dish is cooling,

135
00:16:53,634 --> 00:16:59,334
take a similar casserole dish, coat it with
Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening,

136
00:16:59,735 --> 00:17:04,535
and place it in an oven which
has been preheated to 350 degrees.

137
00:17:05,336 --> 00:17:09,036
Next, peel and core a large Rome apple.

138
00:17:25,737 --> 00:17:27,737
Insert the peel into the hollow center

139
00:17:28,038 --> 00:17:33,238
and coat the entire apple with
Kramp Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening.

140
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:38,139
Now, roll the apple in a half-and-half mixture

141
00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:42,040
of sifted flour and bread crumbs,
and set aside.

142
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:48,941
Spread a half-cup of leftover mashed potatoes

143
00:17:49,142 --> 00:17:51,142
on the palm of your right hand.

144
00:17:55,643 --> 00:17:59,743
Place an onion in the center
and clench your hand into a fist

145
00:17:59,944 --> 00:18:02,444
while moving your fingers from side to side

146
00:18:02,645 --> 00:18:04,645
to coat the onion evenly.

147
00:18:06,146 --> 00:18:08,446
Dip your hand in a bowl of ice water

148
00:18:08,447 --> 00:18:12,147
and open it quickly so that
the onion floats to the top.

149
00:18:14,148 --> 00:18:17,448
Now, bring out the casserole that
was cooling in the refrigerator

150
00:18:17,649 --> 00:18:19,849
and into it, drain off the water.

151
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:24,250
Set the onion aside.

152
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:28,051
Return the casserole to the refrigerator to cool.

153
00:18:29,352 --> 00:18:31,452
Take the apple which we cored earlier,

154
00:18:31,553 --> 00:18:32,953
and cut it in half.

155
00:18:35,854 --> 00:18:38,054
Remove the apple peel from the core,

156
00:18:38,455 --> 00:18:42,155
and fasten it with toothpicks
around the outside of the apple.

157
00:18:50,456 --> 00:18:54,156
Cover with Kramp Easy Lube
brand vegetable shortening

158
00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:55,857
and set aside.

159
00:18:57,258 --> 00:18:59,258
Pit a half-dozen black olives,

160
00:18:59,659 --> 00:19:02,059
and a half-dozen bing cherries.

161
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,960
Insert the olive pits into
the pitted cherries.

162
00:19:25,361 --> 00:19:30,461
Then, insert the cherries,
into which we have just inserted the olive pits,

163
00:19:30,662 --> 00:19:32,862
into the pitted olives.

164
00:19:36,963 --> 00:19:39,763
Remove the cool casserole from the refrigerator,

165
00:19:40,064 --> 00:19:42,364
and into it place the stuffed olives.

166
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:47,365
Return the casserole to the refrigerator,
once again, to cool.

167
00:19:48,766 --> 00:19:50,966
Take the apple we prepared earlier,

168
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,967
and discard the peel.

169
00:20:00,368 --> 00:20:04,168
Place the apple in the casserole
which is now in the refrigerator.

170
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:07,669
Next, bring out the casserole which
was originally in the oven,

171
00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,370
and is now in the oven,

172
00:20:09,471 --> 00:20:11,071
and place it on the table.

173
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:19,472
Coat your hands with Kramp
Easy Lube brand vegetable shortening

174
00:20:19,673 --> 00:20:23,373
and knead the contents of each, at the same time.

175
00:20:32,474 --> 00:20:36,674
Pour equal amounts of each casserole
into two 8-inch bread pans

176
00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:38,575
and let stand overnight.

177
00:20:46,176 --> 00:20:50,476
And now, here is our finished
Fourth of July Heritage Loaf

178
00:20:50,477 --> 00:20:53,777
which we prepared last night
in our Kramp TV Kitchen

179
00:20:53,978 --> 00:20:56,278
and is now ready for the table.

180
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:12,179
Spread a layer of Kramp Dairy Foam
Whipped Cream Substitute between the loaves.

181
00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:27,380
For a special Fourth of July holiday treat,

182
00:21:27,681 --> 00:21:31,681
decorate with a miniature version
of Old Glory.

183
00:21:37,682 --> 00:21:41,382
You'll smile with pride,
as your family enjoys

184
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:44,883
Kramp's Fourth of July Heritage Loaf.

185
00:21:46,284 --> 00:21:48,184
My wife's incredible.

186
00:21:48,285 --> 00:21:50,285
She took care of the baby all day,

187
00:21:50,786 --> 00:21:53,186
cooked a great dinner,
and even went to a school meeting,

188
00:21:53,287 --> 00:21:55,987
and, look at her. She looks better
than any of her friends.

189
00:21:56,288 --> 00:21:57,788
She takes care of herself,

190
00:21:57,989 --> 00:22:00,289
gets her rest, does her sit-ups, watches her diet,

191
00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:02,590
and to make sure she gets enough iron and vitamins,

192
00:22:02,691 --> 00:22:05,891
she takes Geritan every morning.
Makes me take it, too.

193
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:10,192
More than twice the iron of ordinary supplements,
plus seven vitamins...

194
00:22:10,293 --> 00:22:13,093
Take care of yourself,
take Geritan.

195
00:22:13,394 --> 00:22:15,994
My wife...
I think I'll keep her.

196
00:22:20,395 --> 00:22:24,895
Good evening! Our topic for tonight's discussion
is the free world economy.

197
00:22:25,096 --> 00:22:26,496
Where is it going?

198
00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:28,597
The guests on our panel are:

199
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:33,298
Dr. James Pendleton, chairman of the
Atlantic Monetary Foundation;

200
00:22:33,799 --> 00:22:37,899
Henry Gladstone, professor of Economics
at Frick University;

201
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,000
Stuart Felton, editor of the
World Banking Quarterly;

202
00:22:42,701 --> 00:22:48,301
and Dr. Robert Chambers, president of the
Norstad Council for Economic Development.

203
00:22:49,202 --> 00:22:52,502
My first question, and perhaps we can
hear from Dr. Chambers on this, is:

204
00:22:52,903 --> 00:22:56,703
Where does the free world
economy stand at this time?

205
00:22:57,604 --> 00:23:00,904
Of course, this is always a
difficult thing to ascertain,

206
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,205
but I think it would be somewhat accurate to say

207
00:23:03,306 --> 00:23:05,406
that the current situation is in transition.

208
00:23:06,307 --> 00:23:11,707
Um, the gold and silver markets, although these
are rarely indicative of the long-range picture

209
00:23:12,208 --> 00:23:16,908
show an energetic movement causing no
small amount of speculation, actually.

210
00:23:17,109 --> 00:23:21,109
Readjustment seems to be geared
to the combined influences now

211
00:23:21,510 --> 00:23:24,610
of the gross products of industrial markets

212
00:23:24,911 --> 00:23:29,211
and the ever-shifting labor picture...

213
00:23:29,312 --> 00:23:33,412
I- I would definitely agree with you on that,
doctor, but one must add

214
00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:39,013
that the world trade market is oft-times
a very helpful indicator of the 30-day trend-

215
00:23:39,114 --> 00:23:40,214
No.

216
00:23:40,315 --> 00:23:46,015
And one can see in this case a
perceptible movement toward a new overall level-

217
00:23:46,116 --> 00:23:47,816
Ah, forgive me for interrupting you, but, uh...

218
00:23:48,217 --> 00:23:51,517
I think... I think we're missing a
very important point here.

219
00:23:52,818 --> 00:23:54,618
Uh, er... I'll take the ham and cheese...

220
00:23:54,919 --> 00:23:58,119
The, um, the Atlantic Treaty Council,
as I think we're all aware,

221
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,220
uh, yesterday issued a report...
- This is delightful.

222
00:24:00,521 --> 00:24:04,421
Stating that the central European nations
have shown a combined rise of copper-standard

223
00:24:04,722 --> 00:24:07,222
of less than about one-half of one percent. Well...

224
00:24:07,523 --> 00:24:09,523
that's something we can really get our teeth into.

225
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,124
- I want some of that...
- Let me take that...

226
00:24:13,425 --> 00:24:14,625
- Well, I think...
- If you'll gimme...

227
00:24:14,626 --> 00:24:17,426
- Oh, oh! That was the one I wanted...
- No thank you, this is fine...

228
00:24:17,427 --> 00:24:19,427
- Don't want to make a pig of myself.
- I can't...

229
00:24:19,628 --> 00:24:21,828
can't understand why this is so dry.

230
00:25:17,229 --> 00:25:22,829
<i>for jet service for Pittsburgh...</i>

231
00:25:24,230 --> 00:25:27,230
<i>will depart from Gate 12.</i>

232
00:26:11,231 --> 00:26:12,831
- Ha ha ha!
- Yeah... we did it!

233
00:26:12,932 --> 00:26:13,832
We actually did it!

234
00:26:16,233 --> 00:26:17,333
Wait, wait...

235
00:26:17,434 --> 00:26:18,334
Whoa...

236
00:26:18,335 --> 00:26:19,335
whoa...

237
00:26:19,436 --> 00:26:20,336
whoa...

238
00:26:20,337 --> 00:26:21,037
whoa!
- Ha ha ha!!

239
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:22,438
Did you see the way that
stewardess looked at me, man?

240
00:26:22,439 --> 00:26:24,139
That's right! That's right!
And you know why?

241
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,140
And you had that cigar...

242
00:26:27,841 --> 00:26:30,141
Man, we did it!
I can't get over it!

243
00:26:30,642 --> 00:26:34,142
Did you see the way those fuckin' people were
lookin' at us when we got off that plane, man?

244
00:26:34,143 --> 00:26:35,143
I can't believe it!

245
00:26:39,244 --> 00:26:41,144
You were terrific! I was terrific!

246
00:26:41,145 --> 00:26:43,045
It's really hot in here, man, but
I'll tell you...

247
00:26:43,146 --> 00:26:45,146
I was scared, Boss, but I would do it again, man.

248
00:26:45,147 --> 00:26:47,247
You know that? I walked by a
cop in the airport,

249
00:26:47,348 --> 00:26:49,448
he didn't even look at me, man!
It was amazing!

250
00:26:49,449 --> 00:26:51,049
We really pulled it off, man!

251
00:26:51,050 --> 00:26:53,350
Ingenious! You are a genius!

252
00:26:53,551 --> 00:26:55,051
I tell you, man, it was terrific!

253
00:26:55,252 --> 00:26:57,552
We should get a camera and
take pictures of ourselves,

254
00:26:57,653 --> 00:26:59,053
and have 'em blown up like posters!

255
00:26:59,054 --> 00:27:01,654
We need that proof, man. Nobody would
believe this if we told 'em about it.

256
00:27:01,755 --> 00:27:03,355
We gotta get pictures of this, right?

257
00:27:03,556 --> 00:27:04,756
Get out that camera, man.

258
00:27:13,557 --> 00:27:15,857
♪ Dealers... ♪

259
00:27:15,858 --> 00:27:17,658
♪ ...in a lonely city. ♪

260
00:27:20,559 --> 00:27:21,859
♪ You work all day, you work all day, ♪

261
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,860
♪ you work all day, you work all day! ♪

262
00:27:27,261 --> 00:27:29,661
We are gonna make a lot of money
on this stuff, Rodriguez.

263
00:27:30,062 --> 00:27:31,162
I hope so!

264
00:27:31,163 --> 00:27:33,963
This is our chance to get out of the city,
get that farm in Woodstock,

265
00:27:34,564 --> 00:27:37,964
chickens, horses, organic garden...

266
00:27:38,065 --> 00:27:40,165
- Huh?
- Watch the sun come up...

267
00:27:43,366 --> 00:27:46,066
Hello, Jerry?
Hi, baby, this is Boss.

268
00:27:46,567 --> 00:27:49,267
Yeah! I got some beautiful shit for you, baby!

269
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,968
Gold, with a hint of red!

270
00:27:52,769 --> 00:27:55,969
Two tokes, and you're wasted!
That's right!

271
00:27:56,570 --> 00:27:59,470
I can get 50 for it, but you're my friend, man,
I'll give it to you for 40.

272
00:28:00,671 --> 00:28:01,771
Okay!

273
00:28:02,372 --> 00:28:04,872
All right... okay...

274
00:28:04,873 --> 00:28:07,073
Right, we'll be right over.
Right, okay.

275
00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:12,657
♪ Dealers... ♪

276
00:28:12,658 --> 00:28:14,458
♪ ...in a lonely city. ♪

277
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:18,659
♪ You work all day, you work all day, ♪

278
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,660
♪ you work all day, you work all day! ♪

279
00:28:30,261 --> 00:28:33,161
Oh. Hi Boss! Come in, come in.

280
00:28:37,562 --> 00:28:40,062
Boss, I wish you'd give me your number.

281
00:28:40,163 --> 00:28:43,663
I mean, I've been busy as hell these last few days,

282
00:28:43,764 --> 00:28:46,564
and I just can't wait around for you to call me.

283
00:28:46,765 --> 00:28:48,265
Right, kemosabe?

284
00:28:48,466 --> 00:28:51,966
Oh, listen Boss, if you ever want to, I mean,

285
00:28:52,167 --> 00:28:55,967
always leave your name with my answering service.

286
00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:58,568
That's what I pay them for, right old bean?

287
00:28:59,669 --> 00:29:06,069
Oh, Boss, by the way, that last
stuff was absolutely terrific!

288
00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:09,670
My God! We were out at the Hamptons, you know.

289
00:29:09,871 --> 00:29:12,471
Three days on that goddamn boat with that stuff!

290
00:29:12,572 --> 00:29:15,072
And that stuff was so marvelous

291
00:29:15,173 --> 00:29:19,973
that afterwards we found out we hadn't
even left the goddamn dock!

292
00:29:22,874 --> 00:29:26,674
Why, listen, could we have a
little taste right now, Boss?

293
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:30,475
I mean, that last stuff was so goddamn great

294
00:29:30,576 --> 00:29:32,776
I'd just like to get a little buzz on right now!

295
00:29:32,977 --> 00:29:34,677
Yeah, yeah, sure. That'll be fine, man.

296
00:29:34,678 --> 00:29:36,378
Uh, can we use your bathroom first, though?

297
00:29:36,479 --> 00:29:38,379
- Oh, by all means, sure...
- And then we'll be right back.

298
00:29:38,380 --> 00:29:40,080
you know where it is, at the top of the stairs.

299
00:29:40,081 --> 00:29:42,581
- Right. We'll try it out...
- Right, yes...

300
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,182
Can you believe that?
That guy is a cop!

301
00:29:46,183 --> 00:29:48,783
I didn't even give him my right name,
I saw it right away, man!

302
00:29:48,784 --> 00:29:50,876
I was so fuckin' scared, the way he
was lookin' at you, man!

303
00:29:50,959 --> 00:29:52,077
- Did you see that?
- Right!

304
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,100
Did you ever see anything that looked
like a cop more than that guy?

305
00:29:54,134 --> 00:29:56,634
No, and that fuckin' guys a narc,
it's written all over his goddamn face!

306
00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:57,955
- What d'ya wanna do about it?
- I don't know.

307
00:29:58,261 --> 00:29:59,361
All right.

308
00:30:00,152 --> 00:30:02,452
Look, will you get out of here, lady?
This is more important than that!

309
00:30:03,195 --> 00:30:05,595
Ditch the shit! Put the
shit in the toilet! Hurry up!

310
00:30:06,668 --> 00:30:08,568
- Go see if he's coming, Boss, please?
- I'm looking!

311
00:30:11,892 --> 00:30:14,392
- Holy shit, man!
- What's the matter?

312
00:30:16,943 --> 00:30:18,143
We gotta wait for it to fill up.

313
00:30:19,087 --> 00:30:20,887
What are we gonna do, man?
What if he comes up here?

314
00:30:21,477 --> 00:30:24,077
Sit down on the toilet. Take your
bag off, sit down on the toilet.

315
00:30:24,344 --> 00:30:26,144
Sit down on the toilet!

316
00:30:27,006 --> 00:30:28,406
Take off your pants!

317
00:30:28,761 --> 00:30:30,561
- I'll keep an eye out.
- See if he's coming. Please, man.

318
00:30:30,643 --> 00:30:33,143
- Please, man!
- All right, just stay down.

319
00:30:33,944 --> 00:30:35,044
Ohhhhh....

320
00:30:45,346 --> 00:30:46,546
It's cool.

321
00:30:46,956 --> 00:30:48,156
What's cool?

322
00:30:49,106 --> 00:30:51,206
He hasn't come up!
What do you mean, "What's cool?"

323
00:30:51,389 --> 00:30:53,789
Jesus Christ, man! Will you stop yelling?
What if he hears us?

324
00:30:54,588 --> 00:30:56,588
- You crazy, man?
- Just stay down there.

325
00:30:56,642 --> 00:30:58,542
I am so fuckin' scared!
We gotta get outa here, man!

326
00:30:58,705 --> 00:31:02,005
The face of a cop, the eyes of a cop,
the cigar of a cop...

327
00:31:02,305 --> 00:31:03,705
Did you see that guys socks?

328
00:31:03,752 --> 00:31:06,452
Next time we deal, there's one person
there, man. Only one person.

329
00:31:06,699 --> 00:31:08,299
That's the way we usually do it, right? Please!

330
00:31:08,395 --> 00:31:10,195
- Just stay down there.
- I am.

331
00:31:15,872 --> 00:31:17,272
Okay, it's still cool.

332
00:31:17,986 --> 00:31:19,886
Let me check it out,
lemme see where it is.

333
00:31:23,161 --> 00:31:26,461
Hasn't filled... hasn't...
Get back. It hasn't filled up yet.

334
00:31:26,895 --> 00:31:27,895
Just stay down.

335
00:31:38,442 --> 00:31:39,442
Okay.

336
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:44,217
- Is it still makin' that noise?
- Let's try it. Come on.

337
00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:46,695
There it goes!

338
00:31:47,428 --> 00:31:50,228
We gotta get outa here, Boss!
We gotta get out of here, man!

339
00:31:50,336 --> 00:31:53,036
- Come on, hurry up!
- Come on, man. Let's go, please!

340
00:31:53,323 --> 00:31:55,323
There it goes.
All right!

341
00:31:57,483 --> 00:32:00,383
If I ever see that guy in the street,
if I ever see him anywhere,

342
00:32:00,392 --> 00:32:01,792
I'll break his fuckin' legs.

343
00:32:01,846 --> 00:32:03,346
I've had enough, man.
I'm goin' home.

344
00:32:03,366 --> 00:32:06,166
- Aw, we've got one more delivery to make.
- That is enough for me.

345
00:32:06,167 --> 00:32:08,567
- What?
- We gotta go to your buddy, Jerry's.

346
00:32:08,611 --> 00:32:10,262
After that we're goin' right--

347
00:32:10,888 --> 00:32:12,336
Ha ha ha!

348
00:32:12,648 --> 00:32:14,848
- What's the matter?
- Would you believe this?

349
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:17,266
There's a cop followin' us.

350
00:32:17,781 --> 00:32:19,881
That's not very funny, man.
Just take it easy.

351
00:32:19,954 --> 00:32:22,154
- Take it easy?
- Just relax, man!

352
00:32:22,250 --> 00:32:23,450
With the shit in the car?

353
00:32:23,514 --> 00:32:26,014
I don't wanna get stopped with the shit in the car,
that's why I want you to take it easy!

354
00:32:26,084 --> 00:32:28,584
- I'm gonna slow down.
- No, no, man. Don't drive too slow, man. Okay?

355
00:32:28,628 --> 00:32:30,828
- No, that's all right.
- Don't drive too slow. Go the speed limit, all right?

356
00:32:30,842 --> 00:32:32,142
Holy Christ! He's still on my tail!

357
00:32:32,313 --> 00:32:34,413
All right, just- just go the speed limit.
You know, cops can smell fear, man.

358
00:32:34,473 --> 00:32:36,573
You don't drive too fast,
you don't drive too slow...

359
00:32:36,583 --> 00:32:37,783
Holy Christ, man. I'm gonna speed up!

360
00:32:37,786 --> 00:32:39,786
- No, Boss, please!
- He's still followin' me!

361
00:32:39,830 --> 00:32:41,430
I don't wanna get stopped with
the shit in the car, man!

362
00:32:41,494 --> 00:32:42,693
- Where's the shit?
- It's under there...

363
00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:44,194
- Get the shit!
- Just leave it there! Leave it there!

364
00:32:44,258 --> 00:32:45,858
- Just get it! Come on!
- Leave it there, man! Leave it there!

365
00:32:45,908 --> 00:32:47,808
- What the fuck you gonna do?
- Eat it. Eat the shit!

366
00:32:47,879 --> 00:32:49,579
What do you wanna do?
Throw it out the window?

367
00:32:50,162 --> 00:32:52,162
Hurry up! Eat it!

368
00:32:59,872 --> 00:33:01,572
He's still following!

369
00:33:06,159 --> 00:33:07,159
Hurry up!

370
00:33:07,809 --> 00:33:09,580
And he's still following us...

371
00:33:09,806 --> 00:33:12,634
Oh fuck! He's got his light on!
The light's on!

372
00:33:14,452 --> 00:33:16,652
He's gonna pull us over!
Hurry up!

373
00:33:29,194 --> 00:33:30,894
Oh my god!

374
00:33:30,912 --> 00:33:32,412
Holy...

375
00:33:32,537 --> 00:33:35,237
You know, we ate enough shit
to kill a fuckin' army?

376
00:38:15,288 --> 00:38:16,388
Let's go.

377
00:38:53,266 --> 00:38:54,766
Yeah, good luck pal.

378
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,760
Jesus Christ!

379
00:39:30,476 --> 00:39:32,576
Jeeesus Christ!

380
00:40:58,796 --> 00:41:01,496
Hey!
What are you doing?

381
00:41:08,704 --> 00:41:09,804
Gimme that!

382
00:41:19,020 --> 00:41:20,820
Rodriguez! We've been
ripped off!

383
00:41:21,034 --> 00:41:22,334
Rodriguez! We've
been ripped off!

384
00:41:22,357 --> 00:41:24,557
- What? What?
- A junkie just took 2 keys...

385
00:41:24,698 --> 00:41:27,298
- ...and the suits!
- The suits? Did you try to stop him, man?

386
00:41:27,366 --> 00:41:29,266
- Did you try to stop him?
- Did I try to stop him??!

387
00:41:29,305 --> 00:41:32,205
- Are you crazy??
- Take it easy, man!

388
00:41:32,499 --> 00:41:34,849
This fuckin' neighborhood, Jesus Christ!

389
00:41:34,852 --> 00:41:39,034
I can't take it, Rodriguez! We get
chased by cops. We eat the grass.

390
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,377
We put the grass in toilets.
We get ripped off!

391
00:41:42,551 --> 00:41:44,251
Calm down, man.
Calm down.

392
00:41:45,365 --> 00:41:46,565
- Take it easy, Boss.
- I can't take it...

393
00:41:46,660 --> 00:41:49,860
You're not a baby, you're a dealer!
Man, come on, huh?

394
00:41:50,707 --> 00:41:52,207
Calm down, Boss, huh?

395
00:41:52,269 --> 00:41:56,669
We didn't lose everything. We got a lot of shit left.
We still have a lot of shit, man. Take it easy.

396
00:42:02,017 --> 00:42:04,617
- I can't take it, Rodriguez.
- Take it easy, man. Huh?

397
00:42:05,546 --> 00:42:09,546
It's really been bothering me, Rodriguez.
I've really been bothered.

398
00:42:09,588 --> 00:42:10,588
About what, man?

399
00:42:10,643 --> 00:42:12,443
I don't know.
Something's been bothering me.

400
00:42:14,153 --> 00:42:16,453
- What's botherin' you, man?
- I haven't been able to tell you...

401
00:42:16,566 --> 00:42:18,466
I know what it is,
I know what's bothering me.

402
00:42:18,522 --> 00:42:20,522
What is it, man? Tell me all about it, man.
What's bothering you?

403
00:42:21,036 --> 00:42:24,536
All this time. That's what's
been bothering me all this time.

404
00:42:24,659 --> 00:42:26,259
What, Boss? Tell me.

405
00:42:28,137 --> 00:42:29,637
You know, Rodriguez...

406
00:42:30,702 --> 00:42:32,302
you're really cute.

407
00:42:33,001 --> 00:42:35,501
- Boss...
- I think you're cute.

408
00:42:35,650 --> 00:42:37,850
- Thank you, Boss. Thank you.
- You're really a cute guy.

409
00:42:37,885 --> 00:42:38,985
Thank you. Thank you.

410
00:42:39,079 --> 00:42:41,079
That's what's been bothering
me all this time.

411
00:42:41,489 --> 00:42:43,489
You're bothered over me being cute?

412
00:42:45,299 --> 00:42:47,399
- I don't get it, man.
- I love you, Rodriguez.

413
00:42:47,441 --> 00:42:49,241
I love you too, man.
You're my buddy!

414
00:42:50,053 --> 00:42:52,353
I really love you... Rodriguez.

415
00:42:52,566 --> 00:42:55,466
I really love you, man. You know,
we've been through a lot of tight ones together.

416
00:42:57,273 --> 00:42:59,273
We live together.
We deal together.

417
00:42:59,319 --> 00:43:01,319
I really love you too, man.

418
00:43:02,639 --> 00:43:05,139
Maybe we should have something to
calm you down, you know what I mean?

419
00:43:05,288 --> 00:43:06,888
Did you ever hear of gay lib, Rodriguez?

420
00:43:07,165 --> 00:43:08,765
- Gay lib?
- That's right.

421
00:43:09,544 --> 00:43:12,344
I don't read that kind of shit, Boss.
What do you mean, what's gay lib?

422
00:43:12,394 --> 00:43:13,694
It means I love you.

423
00:43:13,783 --> 00:43:16,083
I told you man, I love you too.
What's the hangup?

424
00:43:16,475 --> 00:43:18,275
But we never get to
be together.

425
00:43:19,002 --> 00:43:22,102
Boss, we're together all the fuckin' time, man.
Wh- what are you talkin' about?

426
00:43:22,619 --> 00:43:23,919
I don't get it, man.

427
00:43:24,509 --> 00:43:25,709
What's goin' on?

428
00:43:26,451 --> 00:43:28,051
Let's go to bed, Rodriguez.

429
00:43:29,252 --> 00:43:32,552
Bed? At fuckin' 7:30?
What the fuck you wanna go to bed for?

430
00:43:37,472 --> 00:43:40,072
You sure you don't want one of these, man?
They're really good.

431
00:43:41,427 --> 00:43:43,427
[Echoing] You sure you don't want one of these, man?
They're really good.

432
00:43:43,971 --> 00:43:45,971
[Echoing] You sure you don't want one of these, man?
They're really good.

433
00:43:46,819 --> 00:43:48,819
[Echoing] You sure you don't want one of these, man?
They're really good.

434
00:43:49,338 --> 00:43:53,938
[Echoing] They're really good... They're really good...
They're really good... They're really good...

435
00:44:01,971 --> 00:44:06,896
Sure, you put in eight big hours
breakin' your back for a few lousy bucks.

436
00:44:06,983 --> 00:44:09,483
You've earned the right to blow off some steam...

437
00:44:09,721 --> 00:44:13,521
and that's when Butz comes in mighty handy!

438
00:44:16,921 --> 00:44:20,321
♪ Grab on to Butz! ♪

439
00:44:21,355 --> 00:44:25,255
♪ Two-fisted flavor in a gutsy golden brew ♪

440
00:44:26,938 --> 00:44:30,038
We know a lot about hard-workin' Joes like you.

441
00:44:30,133 --> 00:44:33,233
You like to grab onto life, and ram it home!

442
00:44:37,552 --> 00:44:40,152
Like they say, you only get
to go around once...

443
00:44:40,251 --> 00:44:43,251
so it, uh, might as well be
with a bartender, right?

444
00:44:43,296 --> 00:44:47,496
♪ Grab on to Butz! ♪

445
00:44:47,929 --> 00:44:51,829
♪ For all the gutsy beer enjoyment
that you're due ♪

446
00:44:53,156 --> 00:44:55,056
♪ Suck on a Butz ♪

447
00:44:55,132 --> 00:44:59,332
♪ It's got a head that just won't quit
until you're through! ♪

448
00:45:01,896 --> 00:45:05,396
We know it's a big, brutal world
that builds up a big, brutal thirst!

449
00:45:05,470 --> 00:45:09,170
And that's why we brew Butz, for when
you're having more made,

450
00:45:09,246 --> 00:45:11,946
and times like this, when the goin' gets rough

451
00:45:12,256 --> 00:45:15,156
you could use a case of Butz!

452
00:45:16,510 --> 00:45:21,810
♪ It's got a flavor you can savor
when your 8th full glass is through... ♪

453
00:45:22,365 --> 00:45:24,865
♪ When you're out of Butz... ♪

454
00:45:26,375 --> 00:45:29,575
♪ You're out of guts! ♪

455
00:45:33,570 --> 00:45:38,370
Direct from our newsroom in New York, it's the
Channel One Evening News with Robert Elgin and

456
00:45:38,830 --> 00:45:41,330
Leo Batfish in Suc Muc Dik,

457
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:43,688
Thurthton Thithtertinton in Bath,

458
00:45:43,789 --> 00:45:46,589
Mikennica Mehkinica in Washington, D.C.

459
00:45:46,655 --> 00:45:48,755
Freddi Fagu in Minneapolis,

460
00:45:48,852 --> 00:45:51,152
and Lionel Elgin in New York.

461
00:45:52,195 --> 00:45:57,295
Good evening. Enemy sappers attacked Allied
supply bases in Longh Wang earlier today.

462
00:45:57,498 --> 00:46:00,398
Casualties were reported high in the Gulf of Kakai,

463
00:46:00,498 --> 00:46:05,998
and in nearby Phuc Hu, where enemy helicopters
were downed by rock-throwing peasant women.

464
00:46:06,161 --> 00:46:09,361
General Chow, commander of
Allied forces in Longh Wang,

465
00:46:09,374 --> 00:46:12,374
divided his troops into two columns and ordered

466
00:46:12,433 --> 00:46:17,533
three units from column A and two units
from column B into ground fighting there.

467
00:46:17,768 --> 00:46:23,768
American troops were on hand, and here
with a report is Leo Batfish in Suc Muc Dik.

468
00:46:24,593 --> 00:46:30,093
These are the proud and plucky fighting men
of the Screaming 103rd Airborne Cavalry,

469
00:46:30,101 --> 00:46:33,501
secretly stationed here in Longh Wang to
support and destroy

470
00:46:33,518 --> 00:46:37,418
in this protective over-reaction mission
known as Operation Bloodbath.

471
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:42,740
These battle-hardened, shell-shocked, elite
corps has covertly hauled heavy artillery

472
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,900
through rice paddies, cow patties,
jungles and swamps

473
00:46:45,932 --> 00:46:51,232
moving under cover of darkness to avoid being
accidentally bombed by stray B-52s.

474
00:46:51,363 --> 00:46:55,163
The Screaming 103rd is part of the terminal
pacification program

475
00:46:55,227 --> 00:46:59,927
initiated by an unknown stenographer
at the Pentagon in 1968.

476
00:47:00,135 --> 00:47:05,435
And so, for these men, war or no war,
enemy or no enemy,

477
00:47:05,519 --> 00:47:09,919
this dreadful, dreary, drab,
draconian drama drags on.

478
00:47:09,988 --> 00:47:13,888
This is Leo Batfish, in Suc Muc Dik.

479
00:47:14,487 --> 00:47:18,487
The Russian's new space program got off
to an inauspicious start today,

480
00:47:18,579 --> 00:47:22,579
apparently due to a gas leak aboard the
giant Skratchenitch-3 rocket.

481
00:47:22,823 --> 00:47:28,023
Here, via satellite, is a taped report from
Thurthton Thithtertinton in Bath.

482
00:47:29,214 --> 00:47:34,314
The Soviet Union today launched a Skratchenitch-3
rocket with one Russian cosmonaut aboard.

483
00:47:34,349 --> 00:47:36,649
Soon after takeoff, the trouble began.

484
00:47:36,735 --> 00:47:41,635
Director of the mission, Vladimir Gechuroxov,
alerted the flight commander, Yuri Vosnoski,

485
00:47:41,851 --> 00:47:46,351
of a dangerous amyl nitrate leak into the rocket's
fresh air and cooling system.

486
00:47:46,508 --> 00:47:51,008
Apparently dazed by the noxious chemical,
Commander Vosnoski disregarded orders

487
00:47:51,041 --> 00:47:54,541
and, donning his spacesuit, jumped
out of the giant spacecraft.

488
00:47:54,566 --> 00:47:58,666
Narrowly escaping doom with the aid of his
British-built, jet-propelled rocket pack,

489
00:47:58,707 --> 00:48:01,631
The berserk Russian spaceman,
apparently enraged by the

490
00:48:01,657 --> 00:48:04,632
technical malfunctions plaguing
the Soviet space program

491
00:48:04,786 --> 00:48:08,186
launched a one-man assault
on the mission control headquarters.

492
00:48:08,313 --> 00:48:12,263
In a typically Russian display of pique,
Vosnoski fought for several minutes

493
00:48:12,289 --> 00:48:15,038
with scientists involved
in the ill-fated launching.

494
00:48:15,076 --> 00:48:19,676
Alexi Rudnockni, an authority on solar wind,
and former Olympic discus thrower,

495
00:48:19,738 --> 00:48:24,238
finally overcame cosmonaut Vosnoski by
driving him into the atomic pile.

496
00:48:24,281 --> 00:48:26,581
His present condition is unknown.

497
00:48:26,685 --> 00:48:30,885
Meanwhile, the abandoned rocket, on a
collision course for St. Peter's Basilica in Rome,

498
00:48:30,919 --> 00:48:35,219
was detonated. This is
Thurthton Thithtertinton in Bath.

499
00:49:09,184 --> 00:49:11,984
In how many ways can one
make the world...

500
00:49:14,458 --> 00:49:19,558
a little bit better? At Uranus,
we're just beginning to find out.

501
00:49:20,153 --> 00:49:24,153
The President went to the airwaves this evening,
in a televised address to the nation.

502
00:49:24,252 --> 00:49:27,652
Commenting upon the spirit of dissent
abroad in the land

503
00:49:28,396 --> 00:49:33,296
the President reaffirmed his confidence
in the basic strength of the American people.

504
00:49:33,417 --> 00:49:38,517
I'm in the driver's seat. I run the show.
I'm the fuckin' president.

505
00:49:38,884 --> 00:49:43,884
Earlier in the day, the President welcomed the
Prime Minister of India, Mrs. Mahetma Yenta.

506
00:49:44,216 --> 00:49:47,516
Mikennica Mehkinica reports from
the nation's capital.

507
00:49:49,114 --> 00:49:52,514
After a day spent in consultation with
the Prime Minister and her aides,

508
00:49:52,664 --> 00:49:57,464
the President took the demure world leader
on an informal tour of the White House Rose Garden.

509
00:49:57,731 --> 00:49:59,831
Later, they spoke to reporters.

510
00:50:00,335 --> 00:50:03,735
I would like to thank the
marvelous people of the United States

511
00:50:03,928 --> 00:50:06,428
for the great reception
they showed me here,

512
00:50:06,723 --> 00:50:10,623
and, of course, the hospitality
of your great president.

513
00:50:10,947 --> 00:50:13,447
- Thank you.
- Thank you, isn't she terrific!

514
00:50:13,497 --> 00:50:16,597
I mean, this woman is the head of a country,
with thousands of starving people,

515
00:50:16,673 --> 00:50:19,373
and she herself, as you can see,
look at this! She's not starving!

516
00:50:19,451 --> 00:50:22,051
This takes imagination!
This takes coura--

517
00:50:27,620 --> 00:50:31,020
And that... is it!
That's it! That's it.

518
00:50:31,085 --> 00:50:33,085
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr. President.

519
00:50:33,190 --> 00:50:35,990
- Thank you, Mr. President.
- Thank you! You're wonderful, you know that?

520
00:50:36,109 --> 00:50:39,209
You're really something! I'm really gonna take you--
You're really gonna like America!

521
00:50:39,265 --> 00:50:42,065
America's gonna be your favorite country!
I'll see to that!

522
00:50:42,406 --> 00:50:45,136
The assassination attempt
in the Rose Garden was

523
00:50:45,162 --> 00:50:48,531
the 23rd such incident since
the President took office,

524
00:50:48,663 --> 00:50:51,363
and the 2nd in the
last five days.

525
00:50:56,589 --> 00:50:59,589
Five years ago,
a team of scientists

526
00:50:59,635 --> 00:51:03,535
working at Uranus discovered
a unique polyester.

527
00:51:03,551 --> 00:51:06,551
It had the rare combination of properties,

528
00:51:06,613 --> 00:51:11,913
which would make it suitable for reaming,
sheeting, molding, and cutting.

529
00:51:12,384 --> 00:51:19,384
It could be used as insulation, lubricant,
construction material, and fuel.

530
00:51:19,726 --> 00:51:25,526
Among other characteristics, it had
the strength of steel, the flexibility of rubber,

531
00:51:25,712 --> 00:51:29,012
and the nutritional value
of beef stew.

532
00:51:30,007 --> 00:51:36,107
This revolutionary substance,
developed at Uranus, is Brown-25.

533
00:51:37,048 --> 00:51:42,648
The variety of products which can be made
from this incredible new material is unlimited.

534
00:51:43,231 --> 00:51:46,188
From a suspension bridge
to a child's plaything,

535
00:51:46,514 --> 00:51:50,756
Brown-25 does the job,
and does it for less.

536
00:51:51,687 --> 00:51:55,687
Brown-25.
Another fine product from...

537
00:51:55,952 --> 00:51:57,552
Uranus.

538
00:51:58,639 --> 00:52:02,639
At Uranus, things come out
a little differently.

539
00:52:03,663 --> 00:52:07,263
Every night this week, the Channel One
Evening News is featuring

540
00:52:07,337 --> 00:52:09,737
a special report on
the urban crisis.

541
00:52:09,903 --> 00:52:15,003
Here with another aspect of the problem,
is Peabody Award-winner Lionel Elgin.

542
00:52:16,876 --> 00:52:22,076
I am standing in a run-down hotel room,
somewhere in New York's Times Square,

543
00:52:22,324 --> 00:52:27,824
where I am about to experience first-hand
the degradation to the soul and spirit

544
00:52:27,834 --> 00:52:30,234
which is New York prostitution.

545
00:52:30,353 --> 00:52:36,353
I have just given this woman $20, and now
I am a "trick," as they would say around here.

546
00:52:36,686 --> 00:52:39,186
How much of that $20
do you get to keep?

547
00:52:39,204 --> 00:52:41,404
Every damn penny, slick. And you
gonna give me more!

548
00:52:41,574 --> 00:52:44,674
You didn't say nothin' about that cameraman.
I'm gonna give him a quick lick and make it stick!

549
00:52:44,754 --> 00:52:46,654
He's kinda cute. You ain't
so bad lookin', Lionel.

550
00:52:47,104 --> 00:52:49,104
Bet you got a dick in there
as big as that microphone.

551
00:52:49,150 --> 00:52:52,850
Get down here, stud. I'm gonna put
some lightning and thunder asunder, yeah!

552
00:52:53,130 --> 00:52:56,230
Oooh, you're nice and white
and that's all right! Yeah!

553
00:52:56,289 --> 00:52:58,489
- Is there someone behind you?
- I live in the last house...

554
00:52:58,512 --> 00:53:00,212
- Pardon me?
- Pardon you?

555
00:53:00,246 --> 00:53:03,046
Ain't nobody behind me but
my sweet hot chocolate buns!

556
00:53:03,515 --> 00:53:05,315
I bet you'd like to butter
them buns, huh faggot?

557
00:53:05,368 --> 00:53:09,168
This is a nice expensive shirt, but they put some
cheap damn buttons on it, I'll tell you that right now.

558
00:53:09,237 --> 00:53:11,537
You know, we gonna fuss and fight,
and it's gonna be all right!

559
00:53:11,748 --> 00:53:13,748
Let's get all this off here, baby.

560
00:53:13,798 --> 00:53:17,098
- Young, old, rich, poor.
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah.

561
00:53:17,173 --> 00:53:19,273
- These are the people who pass through this...
- Yeah! Whoa! Let's see what we can see!

562
00:53:19,368 --> 00:53:22,268
- ... forgotten chamber buried in the heart of...
- Do what we can do!

563
00:53:22,316 --> 00:53:25,616
- ... still another decaying urban neighborhood.
- 'Cause I'm gonna do it to you! Yeah!

564
00:53:25,678 --> 00:53:28,278
This is Lionel Elgin,
in New York.

565
00:53:28,715 --> 00:53:33,215
Lionel? That sound like a train!
I'm gonna do a non-stop on you, choo-choo!

566
00:53:35,259 --> 00:53:38,659
And that's the way it is,
was, and will be.

567
00:53:38,703 --> 00:53:41,003
And this is Robert Elgin for
Channel One News,

568
00:53:41,031 --> 00:53:46,431
hoping that your news is good news.
Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

569
00:53:46,661 --> 00:53:50,761
No matter what the news may be,
this time or any time,

570
00:53:50,806 --> 00:53:55,906
until next time, have a good time,
all the time.

571
00:56:43,415 --> 00:56:48,315
♪ Take me to the mountains,
Take me to the sea, ♪

572
00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:53,855
♪ Take me where the
wind's blowing wild, ♪

573
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:58,660
♪ Show me a land in
the clear morning light, ♪

574
00:56:58,806 --> 00:57:04,006
♪ Let me see with
the eyes of a child. ♪

575
00:57:05,135 --> 00:57:06,935
The Mayopak River.

576
00:57:07,272 --> 00:57:10,472
Thirty years ago, children
played on it's banks.

577
00:57:10,821 --> 00:57:15,621
Striped bass, salmon, and more than
thirty other species of fish

578
00:57:15,844 --> 00:57:18,544
streaked through its
crystal waters.

579
00:57:19,152 --> 00:57:23,352
But today, the Mayopak
is a river of another kind.

580
00:57:24,195 --> 00:57:30,195
The Uranus Corporation, with its main processing
plants located on the banks of the great Mayopak,

581
00:57:30,457 --> 00:57:37,257
understands its responsibility in this great
waste of our land's natural beauty and resources.

582
00:57:37,406 --> 00:57:39,806
We are doing something about it.

583
00:57:39,979 --> 00:57:44,179
Three years ago, the
Uranus Corporation hired thirty men

584
00:57:44,261 --> 00:57:48,661
highly respected in their fields,
and one million dollars later,

585
00:57:49,085 --> 00:57:53,085
they came up with this
new advertising campaign.

586
00:58:06,541 --> 00:58:11,341
Spanning the globe to bring you the
human drama of athletic competition,

587
00:58:11,612 --> 00:58:15,912
this is Channel One's
Wild World of Sports.

588
00:58:44,442 --> 00:58:47,742
This is Bob Van Horn back in
sunny Tijuana, Mexico

589
00:58:47,923 --> 00:58:51,723
live via early-bird satellite
for the final event of the day

590
00:58:52,014 --> 00:58:55,714
in the 34th annual
International Sex Games.

591
00:58:55,920 --> 00:59:00,420
You are now looking at the West German
team, Kurt Stem, Kristina Bush.

592
00:59:00,943 --> 00:59:05,443
They will be performing the final and
most important event in the competition,

593
00:59:05,483 --> 00:59:09,983
the freestyle for which they will have
selected their own music, of course,

594
00:59:10,071 --> 00:59:16,871
and in which they must gather another 19 points in
order to retain their current world championship

595
00:59:16,967 --> 00:59:20,167
against what turned out to be an
aggressive challenge from the Canadians.

596
00:59:20,207 --> 00:59:22,607
- Right, Manuel Rodriguez?
- That's right, Bob. In fact,

597
00:59:22,651 --> 00:59:26,351
I've not seen such fierce
competition since the 1958 games

598
00:59:26,565 --> 00:59:30,365
in which I had the pleasure to compete
against the very impressive Austrian team.

599
00:59:30,803 --> 00:59:35,103
Oh, yes. I remember that very well, and didn't you
have a sprained ligament throughout the competition?

600
00:59:35,403 --> 00:59:37,303
- Yes, that's true.
- It was truly magnificent.

601
00:59:37,438 --> 00:59:40,938
Now, what should we expect from the
West Germans in this final round?

602
00:59:41,070 --> 00:59:45,670
Well, this team, of course, has been practicing
six hours a day for over a year and a half,

603
00:59:45,819 --> 00:59:51,319
their music is carefully chosen for it's
appropriateness to each stage of the action,

604
00:59:51,668 --> 00:59:56,268
Kurt Stem, who as you can see,
is built like a champion,

605
00:59:56,338 --> 01:00:01,138
is an exciting competitor, a marvelous
technician, graceful, has good contact,

606
01:00:01,253 --> 01:00:06,253
he's inventive, he has achieved a wide
reputation, even though he's only 24 years old.

607
01:00:06,545 --> 01:00:11,745
Kristina Bush is noted for her coordination, her
timing, expression, she's a stickler for detail,

608
01:00:11,857 --> 01:00:14,057
and, incidentally, a
favorite of the judges.

609
01:00:15,076 --> 01:00:20,076
So it should be a very exciting session here,
in this competition, right Manuel?

610
01:00:20,348 --> 01:00:24,848
I should certainly say so, very exciting
indeed, I am looking forward to it very much.

611
01:00:25,466 --> 01:00:29,766
And now the judges have indicated that the
competition is about to begin...

612
01:00:30,121 --> 01:00:34,521
the spectators are now waiting,
in this tense atmosphere,

613
01:00:34,898 --> 01:00:38,198
uh, for the championship to get underway.

614
01:00:47,217 --> 01:00:52,217
And now the music has begun, and
we begin with a classical frontal embrace,

615
01:00:52,417 --> 01:00:55,417
which is favored by most European teams,

616
01:00:55,419 --> 01:00:58,919
uh, has excellent foundation
for subsequent development.

617
01:00:59,237 --> 01:01:06,537
Notice the beautiful vining of the arms, the relative
position of the thighs, the angle of the feet,

618
01:01:06,734 --> 01:01:09,534
this is a very subtle exposition.

619
01:01:15,030 --> 01:01:18,430
Now, Kurt Stem is bringing
his left hand into play.

620
01:01:18,972 --> 01:01:23,172
Stem, of course, is the... one of the leading
exponents of hand technique.

621
01:01:23,204 --> 01:01:25,654
An example here of economy
in movement,

622
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:29,229
slightly bent, though we're in the
early stages, but... very smooth.

623
01:01:29,725 --> 01:01:35,525
Oh, now we see a sweep, a false pass,
a curl and... a probe!

624
01:01:35,627 --> 01:01:37,927
- A beautiful combination! Beautiful.
- A beautiful probe! Let's have an instant replay...

625
01:01:38,048 --> 01:01:39,848
 of that so we can look at it again.

626
01:01:40,378 --> 01:01:47,878
We have the sweep... the sweep, the curl,
and a lovely... it's, he's going to...

627
01:01:48,191 --> 01:01:52,291
this is the curl, and a lovely probe.
A lovely probe!

628
01:01:52,612 --> 01:01:54,912
Beautiful move on Stem's part here.

629
01:01:55,032 --> 01:01:56,382
Now we're back to live action.

630
01:01:56,708 --> 01:02:02,057
Kristina Bush is now rotating into a more
open position, as you can see.

631
01:02:02,119 --> 01:02:05,019
Stem is continuing to probe with that left hand.

632
01:02:05,276 --> 01:02:08,976
Now the probing is deeper, much more profound.
It's very decisive.

633
01:02:09,109 --> 01:02:12,309
Now it's open-handed, and the tempo
is really picking up here.

634
01:02:14,127 --> 01:02:19,627
Now Stem continuing with heavy probing,
assumes a half-articulated crouch

635
01:02:19,684 --> 01:02:23,384
and is now moving into selective
tonguing of the breasts.

636
01:02:24,045 --> 01:02:31,045
He moves to the left, to the right, and now
down, in a vertical drop, to the center torso.

637
01:02:31,126 --> 01:02:35,926
Yes, Bob, now Kristina is really
coming into play for the first time.

638
01:02:35,999 --> 01:02:39,979
Notice the winged arms, the
beauty of her expression

639
01:02:40,005 --> 01:02:43,699
in response to the music and
Stem's fluted tongue work.

640
01:02:43,727 --> 01:02:47,427
Manuel, I believe Kurt is now
clipping with his teeth and lips.

641
01:02:47,583 --> 01:02:52,383
That's right, Bob, and we can now expect
Stem's hallmark, the frontal tripod.

642
01:02:52,507 --> 01:02:58,907
A tripod... and now a vertical return with
French grazing along Kristina's undulating torso.

643
01:02:59,170 --> 01:03:03,470
Bob, they're doing very well up to this point.
A nearly flawless performance.

644
01:03:03,537 --> 01:03:05,937
- And now, we are at insertion.
- Yes, we are.

645
01:03:06,676 --> 01:03:10,376
And the West Germans have chosen
the Hamilton Insertion...

646
01:03:12,907 --> 01:03:15,907
but there seems to be some
slight delay here, Manuel.

647
01:03:15,955 --> 01:03:20,855
Yes, a little unsteady. It may cost them
half a point. Not a serious fault.

648
01:03:23,266 --> 01:03:28,666
Okay, insertion is now complete. What fantastic
coordination between music and body rhythm,

649
01:03:28,709 --> 01:03:30,309
and look at that closeup, Manuel!

650
01:03:30,323 --> 01:03:32,798
Yes, Bob, this will give our
viewers an excellent view of

651
01:03:32,824 --> 01:03:36,148
the depth of penetration the
West Germans are noted for.

652
01:03:36,273 --> 01:03:40,973
As you see, the strokes are long,
controlled, and very, very even.

653
01:03:41,212 --> 01:03:43,877
And right here I must make
mention of the crew and facilities

654
01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:47,037
provided by KTVD here,
and for their great work.

655
01:03:47,079 --> 01:03:53,579
Bob, they are now moving into the final sprint.
As you can see, this is true championship action.

656
01:03:54,176 --> 01:03:58,076
Yes, it is, and there is a thrust, Manuel!
A double thrust,

657
01:03:58,755 --> 01:04:05,155
a rotary combination, a series
of short jabs, a lift, a plunge!

658
01:04:05,442 --> 01:04:11,642
Another lift, another plunge!
And now, I think... Yes!

659
01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:17,074
- Oh, just fantastic, Manuel!
- I have never seen anything like it, Bob.

660
01:04:17,802 --> 01:04:20,502
Now let's wait for the scoring from the judges...

661
01:04:25,603 --> 01:04:29,156
Look at that, Manuel!
A nine. Another nine.

662
01:04:29,382 --> 01:04:34,028
Two eights. An eight-five.
And a nine!

663
01:04:34,113 --> 01:04:36,313
Bob, this was an example of...

664
01:04:46,752 --> 01:04:48,752
♪ [SCAT SINGING] ♪

665
01:06:04,608 --> 01:06:06,808
♪ I'm looking over ♪

666
01:06:06,909 --> 01:06:08,809
♪ A four-leaf clover ♪

667
01:06:09,127 --> 01:06:12,227
♪ That I overlooked before ♪

668
01:06:12,833 --> 01:06:17,033
♪ One is for sunshine,
the other for rain ♪

669
01:06:17,691 --> 01:06:21,391
♪ Third for the roses
that bloom in the lane ♪

670
01:06:22,391 --> 01:06:25,891
♪ No use explaining
the one remaining ♪

671
01:06:26,141 --> 01:06:29,041
♪ It's somebody I adore ♪

672
01:06:29,940 --> 01:06:33,840
♪ I'm looking over
a four-leaf clover ♪

673
01:06:33,941 --> 01:06:37,941
♪ That I overlooked before ♪

674
01:06:38,716 --> 01:06:40,816
♪ I'm looking over ♪

675
01:06:40,966 --> 01:06:42,965
♪ A four-leaf clover ♪

676
01:06:42,966 --> 01:06:46,866
♪ That I overlooked before ♪

677
01:06:47,966 --> 01:06:51,766
♪ One is for sunshine,
the other for rain ♪

678
01:06:52,062 --> 01:06:56,262
♪ Third for the roses
that bloom in the lane ♪

679
01:06:57,135 --> 01:07:01,335
♪ No use explaining
the one remaining ♪

680
01:07:01,391 --> 01:07:05,491
♪ It's somebody I adore ♪

681
01:07:06,141 --> 01:07:10,241
♪ I'm looking over
a four-leaf clover ♪

682
01:07:10,691 --> 01:07:14,891
♪ That I overlooked before. ♪

683
01:07:22,633 --> 01:07:25,833
And now, a message from your
Department of Health...

684
01:07:27,143 --> 01:07:29,543
Hello! My name is
Safety Sam.

685
01:07:29,598 --> 01:07:33,598
And I'm here to spread the word about a
health problem of great importance to us all.

686
01:07:33,674 --> 01:07:39,474
Did you know that VD, Venereal Disease,
has reached epidemic proportions in our city?

687
01:07:39,673 --> 01:07:41,867
Well, you should know the
facts about this public menace

688
01:07:41,993 --> 01:07:45,198
in order to protect yourself
and those you love.

689
01:07:45,741 --> 01:07:48,956
Venereal diseases, syphilis
and gonorrhea, are diseases

690
01:07:48,982 --> 01:07:51,766
transmitted only through
intimate physical contact.

691
01:07:52,220 --> 01:07:55,952
They are both extremely
dangerous and, left untreated,

692
01:07:55,978 --> 01:07:59,845
result in blindness, heart trouble,
insanity, and death!

693
01:08:00,149 --> 01:08:03,049
Here are some of the early
warning signs to watch out for:

694
01:08:03,127 --> 01:08:08,527
If you are a man, and experience a burning
sensation or itching when you urinate,

695
01:08:08,613 --> 01:08:10,713
you may have gonorrhea.

696
01:08:10,761 --> 01:08:14,961
If you are a man or a woman, and
discover a chancre on your privates,

697
01:08:15,050 --> 01:08:17,250
you may have syphilis.

698
01:08:17,287 --> 01:08:22,087
If spotted in time, a doctor can cure
you of a venereal disease infection.

699
01:08:22,138 --> 01:08:26,438
But, once cured, you have no
insurance against re-contamination.

700
01:08:26,744 --> 01:08:31,444
For more information, write or call the
Department of Health office in your community.

701
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:35,780
Remember, the war against
venereal disease is your war!

702
01:08:35,899 --> 01:08:39,499
Therefore, observe the
Golden Rule of good health,

703
01:08:39,848 --> 01:08:45,948
A bird in the hand is better
than one in the bush. Thank you.

704
01:08:58,854 --> 01:09:02,854
♪ Just you...
Just me... ♪

705
01:09:02,862 --> 01:09:04,662
♪ Let's find a cozy spot, ♪

706
01:09:05,534 --> 01:09:06,934
♪ To cuddle and woo. ♪

707
01:09:07,445 --> 01:09:11,145
♪ Just us...
Just we... ♪

708
01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:13,933
♪ I've missed an awful lot, ♪

709
01:09:14,263 --> 01:09:15,963
♪ My trouble is you. ♪

710
01:09:16,718 --> 01:09:20,518
♪ Oh, gee! What are
your charms for? ♪

711
01:09:20,562 --> 01:09:22,862
♪ What are my arms for? ♪

712
01:09:23,212 --> 01:09:25,312
♪ Use your imagination! ♪

713
01:09:25,559 --> 01:09:29,359
♪ Just you...
Just me... ♪

714
01:09:29,624 --> 01:09:31,724
♪ I'll tie a lover's knot, ♪

715
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:34,268
♪ 'Round wonderful you. ♪

716
01:10:26,913 --> 01:10:30,713
♪ Oh gee! What are your charms for? ♪

717
01:10:30,813 --> 01:10:32,913
♪ What are my arms for? ♪

718
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,520
♪ Use your imagination! ♪

719
01:10:36,427 --> 01:10:39,527
♪ Just you...
Just me... ♪

720
01:10:39,742 --> 01:10:41,642
♪ I'll tie a lover's knot ♪

721
01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:43,860
♪ Tie a lover's knot ♪

722
01:10:44,184 --> 01:10:46,084
♪ Tie a lover's knot ♪

723
01:10:46,100 --> 01:10:48,100
♪ 'Round wonderful you. ♪
